Saturday, January 11, 2014

About being in pain


- What does it mean, to be in pain?

- Tell me.

- Can we make someone understand that we are in pain?

- Are you in pain?

- If I were and told you, would you know that I am in pain?

- If I believed you, yes, I guess that I would.

- Pain can be told and explained. But our own pain cannot be felt by anyone else.

- Sure. But what can we do about it?
- Nothing, I guess. If you were the reason why I am in pain I could tell you about my pain with the secret hope that you would put an end to my pain.
- And I am not the reason why you are in pain?
- No.
- I feel better already.
- You have to. You are not guilty.
- Who is guilty then?
- Nobody is guilty. We are responsible for our own pain.
- A moment ago I understood that someone else but not me was responsible for your pain. Now you say that nobody is responsible for your pain.
- Someone may be the reason of my pain but it does not mean that she is responsible for my pain.
- You are such a good person. You are also an expert in language management. Being the reason is not enough to make the guilty person responsible. I got it. Are you a saint already or just on the way to becoming one?
- If I believed that you could understand my pain maybe I would tell you why I am in pain. You would not cure me but maybe I would feel better.
- Share your pain with me. I will do my best to understand.
- I can’t talk about it.
- You can’t tell it? Try to cry it then. I may even feel your pain, who knows?
- I cannot cry with you here. It would not make sense.
- You are not in pain right now, I guess.
- Why do you say that? How do you know?
- Can we at the same time be in pain and talk so clearly about being in pain as you do?
- You don’t get it. How do we deal with empty spaces?
- Try to fill them.
- I can’t.
- What you cannot do you better forget about it.
- I can’t forget either. I would stop being myself.
- What does it mean, I can’t? We can if we want.
- It means that I am in pain.
- Ok, I see. Tautology is the only way of saying what cannot be said.
- I never had much patience to deal with people who do not understand me. I get tired and I leave. I forget.
- I do not understand you?
- I am not talking about you. I am thinking about people that I could have loved if I were more patient and did not come so soon to the conclusion that I was mistaken. It is so easy to get rid of someone that you think you could love and never stop being friends with. Nobody has enough faith. Nobody believes enough. Then we abandon them and they will never have the slightest idea of what they missed,
- What’s going on in your head? I don’t get it. You are not generous enough or tolerant enough with other people. I know that about you. You understand everything very fast and you think that everybody is able to go as fast as you. You intimidated me when I first met you. You forget to take in consideration that each one of us is trying to find his or her own way in the complex labyrinth of life and reality. It’s not an easy task.
- Never mind. I have to go. Nice talking to you. You are a good friend. You listen to me without contempt even when you do not understand what I am talking about. Goodbye. Love you.
- Love you too. Bye.

J. E. Soice